Dear Coleen
I am a woman in my twenties and have recently started seeing someone.
While he is attractive and engaging, his high level of enthusiasm is overwhelming me. This level of attention early on in a relationship is new to me, as my past experiences have involved uncertainty about my partners’ feelings.
We have already spent a weekend away, met his colleagues for drinks, visited his family, and he is constantly in touch via texts.
I am unsure if I am overthinking this situation or being unappreciative. While my friends like him, their limited interactions make me hesitant. I am considering suggesting a more relaxed approach to give myself space to assess my feelings without causing harm, as there could be potential with him.
Is this a warning sign or an opportunity for romance that I should be more receptive to?
Coleen advises
It seems like things have progressed quickly, leading to the intense feelings you are experiencing. Rather than ending things abruptly, express your concerns and observe his response. Requesting space to balance your personal needs and social commitments while acknowledging your need to adapt to his enthusiasm can be a healthy approach.
If you see a future with him, be open about your emotions. Establish a foundation of honesty from the start.
Maintaining a level of distance and keeping the spark alive can enhance the relationship. Appreciating each other’s absence and sustaining a sense of mystery can lead to a stronger connection.
Compared to previous relationships where commitment was lacking, his genuine interest in you and desire for a serious commitment should be viewed positively.
If you feel overwhelmed, slowing down and creating space can help find a comfortable balance without extreme actions.
